what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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