Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
