Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
