So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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