What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
