My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
