Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
