I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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