"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize