I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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