grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
