I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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