babies were throwing up all over the place
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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