carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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