actually, I'm a sock model
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
