I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize