dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
