I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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