he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize