Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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