shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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