THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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