im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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