We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have aggressive nipples.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
