What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You were trust falling into bushes
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
