I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
