I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
