She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
