The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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