I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize