Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
