didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
