Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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