Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

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(716): View more from New York

Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

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(276): View more from Virginia

Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?

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(512): View more from Texas

It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship

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