I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
