Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
