This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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