On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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