i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
