Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
