I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize