I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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