this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
