Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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