I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
