I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
