Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
