Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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