You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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