so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
