hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
