road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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