If that was your dad, he is hot
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
