You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
