Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
