So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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